i pick technology over people

Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don’t know, can you? Me: When I was using “can” I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you’d know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

sodamnrelatable:

TEACHER:

OTHER STUDENTS IN THE CLASS:

AND I’M JUST LIKE :

via sodamnrelatable

(via laughingnancy)

griefgod:

what if while your legs are asleep a murderer breaks into your house and you have to stanky leg away from him 

(via ejacutastic)

the-mad-angel-with-a-box:

ghirahim:

snarkylittleshark:

harmlesscheesecake:

my laptop wasn’t working so I yelled “CRISTO” at it

the screen immediately turned black

I’m performing an exorcism now

Is that silly string?

its not silly string if its a very serious matter

it’s serious string. 

(via i-like-pigeons)